You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
