I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
