I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
