do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
