Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
