How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
