Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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