Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
