I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
