I could have mohawked her pubes.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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