i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You ate ashes out of my bong
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
