so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
