What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
