He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
