it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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