I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
