Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
