Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
