i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I will be naked everywhere
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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