I want to stick my p in your. b.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
