I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize