My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
