Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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