If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
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