you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
