I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
