I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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