u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Dicks are not precious.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
