i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
