I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
