I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
