Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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