My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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