i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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