Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize