So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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