Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
