I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
