do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize