Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
my god I love twenty year old dicks
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
