is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
