ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize