I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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