Me. At least after what I've been through.
Non-Jews are for practice
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
