Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
