the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
