I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
