.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
