Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Randomize
