I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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