Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
