guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
