Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
