It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
