Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
That accounts for only three of the penises
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
