Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
