This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
