Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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