non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
When are your genitals available?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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