She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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