I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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