I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
