R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
