I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
