i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
