I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
