weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
