I must be too annoying 4 u.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
