he thought i was a dude.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
