Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
