just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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