Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
