It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
