like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
