I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
